This week has been great. Not once have I doubted my
decision. I actually look forward to showing myself to the world; I look
forward to showing everyone me, the true and nature me.
Last week I tried to focus on the things I loved about myself
instead of the things I didn’t like. Last week I focused on my eyes and began
to love them. This week I have realized that my skin has a natural glow to it
that can just light up the room. I have begun to love myself for who I am;
inside and out.
My little sister is nine years old and I love her to death.
She has become a close friend. I want her to grow up knowing that she is
special and beautiful. I want her to be able to talk to me about anything and
everything.
Turns out a special blonde haired, blue eyed boy named Gabe
has stole her heart and this is urgent news that must be discussed at two a.m.
This young boy goes to our church so she only sees him two times a week. When
we go to church she takes about an hour to get ready. Her hair needs to be perfect
and she has to have a super cute outfit. She asks me how she looks about thirty
times before we leave and in the car on the way there. I am so worried that she
will fall deeper and deeper in to insecurity. I am not saying that just because
someone spends a little extra time in the morning makes them insecure. Everyone
wants to get noticed every once and a while. Except she is nine and I don’t
want her to base her worth on what a boy named Gabe thinks of her.
This morning my sister came down to my room and I noticed
right away her eczema had returned. It was red irritated and slightly swollen.
The reason I noticed immediately was because it was on her face and around her
mouth. She was teary eyes and I asked her what was wrong (even though I knew it
was because of her eczema) and she shook her head and climbed in to my bed. I
wrapped her in my arms and let her cry. I told her to look me in the eyes and
she slowly raised her head up and looked at me desperately. I said, “Samantha,
you are beautiful! Inside and out, and don’t you EVER forget it!”
I am not lying when I say she is beautiful. In fact for a
while I was actually jealous of my little sister. She had flawless skin,
straight, long blonde hair and deep blue eyes. She had charm and humor. While I
was sitting there as a gawky 6th grader, with frizzy, curly hair and
feeling desperate for some of attention that she was getting.
Now I am thankful that I am this way and that everyone is
different. Wouldn’t the world be a bore if we were all the same?
Sam (my sister) looks up to me in so many ways and I find
her copying my every move. I realize now more than ever that I am her role
model and need to set a good example. I hope that she can recognize that for
the last few weeks I have been wearing no make- up and have been completely
natural and yet I am content with who I am and love myself. I hope she will
love herself as much as I love her.
ps. sorry this is late! the internet has been down this week!
